


Hesitation

by solohux



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Exes, First Order Poe Dameron, Hurt Ben Solo, Jedi Ben Solo, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 03:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21385078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solohux/pseuds/solohux
Summary: First Order pilot Poe Dameron pilots Master Xian Ren's command shuttle to the Jakku village to retrieve the map. Whilst there, he sees Jedi Ben Solo, his ex-lover, and his loyalties are questioned.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	Hesitation

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a tumblr prompt! Enjoy! ❤️

They’ve finally found the map.

Even from the cockpit of Xian Ren’s shuttle, Poe can feel the Master Knight’s tenseness radiating through the atmosphere around him. And despite not being Force sensitive, growing up with one has made Poe a little more susceptible to sense changes in its aura.

“Land on the outskirts of the village,” Xian Ren commands, and Poe silently complies and begins their descent over the dusty, dark landscape, letting the ship’s floodlights envelope the carnage caused by their stormtroopers but the bloodshed isn’t what Poe expected. There should be bodies of the resistant villagers lying everywhere but there isn’t. Instead, the First Order’s troops are the ones dead in the sand, their armour seared with marks that can only be made with a—

“There’s a _Jedi _here,” Xian spits, just as Poe sees the blue flash of a twirling lightsaber taking down three attacking stormtroopers, defending the fleeing villagers from them. “_Scum.”_

Poe flicks up the visor of his pilot’s helmet and sees the Jedi that has Xian so riled up, and his heart jerks and his stomach twists. He’s dressed in cream and brown robes, his mess of dark hair fanning out as he spins around to deflect blaster shots. _Ben. Ben Solo. _Poe hasn’t seen him in…a decade. The boy was a padawan when Poe last saw him, too tall for his long limbs and big ears but his soft, brown eyes could melt Poe’s heart with just a glance. Leaving him behind for the First Order was harder than Poe would ever admit, refusing to look back at Ben, listening only to his screams of ‘_don’t go!’ _whilst being restrained by his mother and father.

“Dameron!” Poe blinks hard, finding it difficult to draw his gaze from Ben and over his shoulder to where the masked Master Ren is standing right behind him. “I _said, _raise us up and fire the electric net.”

“What? Commander, we—”

“At the Jedi, _pilot! _Fire at him, _now!”_

For the first time since he joined the First Order, Poe hesitates in obeying an order. He stares at Ben, watching as he tries his very best to save all of the villagers, to be the hero he was born to be. Poe feels his hand trembling over the blue button on his control panel that would fire a weighted, metal net at Ben and electrocute him until he’s unconscious. The image pains Poe, he can’t do it, he can’t hurt Ben again—

“Dammit! Move, Dameron! Xian shoves Poe aside and slams his hand down over the button, sending the heavy set flying through the air before Poe can stop it. The ship lands just meters away from the struggling Jedi, and Poe feels the Force cry out as its golden child is captured.

The net hits its target directly and with such force that Poe can’t believe that Ben manages to stay standing. Truly, his strength is mirrored in his large physique but when the net begins bursting with electricity in high, unbearable volts, Ben falters. The metal web flashes a white-blue as it shocks its prisoner to his knees but Poe can still see that Ben is fighting against it.

“_P-Poe!” _Ben yells, fighting to stay on his knees. Poe’s blood runs cold. “I know you’re on there! Come home! I-I need you!”

“Did he say your name?” Xian says, anger filling his tone.

“I didn’t hear,” Poe replies quickly, though he can’t stop Ben’s voice echoing inside of his mind, repeating his name over and over again.

“Strange.” Xian Ren steps back, clearly entertained by the scene in front of him.

“Don’t fight it, Ben,” Poe whispers, a white-knuckled grip on the ship’s joysticks, agonised at watching his former lover struggle. “It’ll only hurt more. Just let it take you.”

“Look at him struggle,” Xian Ren laughs. “Pitiful Jedi.”

Even from the ship, Poe hears Ben’s cry of utter pain as he finally goes down, convulsing underneath the net, truly trapped and captured. The pilot closes his eyes and looks away, compromised by the sight of his darling Ben in such pain. The net slows its torture down until there’s no current left and Ben is left spasming in the aftershocks of the attack, panting furiously

All of Poe’s memories from his and Ben’s childhoods flash in his mind, recalling Ben’s infectious laugh and his mischievous sense of humour, his ability to always pick Poe up when he’s feeling low. And now, as Poe watches his stormtroopers approach the unconscious Jedi and snap a collar around his neck and cuff him before dragging him up, Poe feels his loyalties being questioned.

Hux is going to kill him.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is [@solohux](http://solohux.tumblr.com/) ❤️
> 
> And I'm also on twitter now! Find me [@solohuxx](https://mobile.twitter.com/solohuxx) 💙


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